Re-read Step One. Discuss and reflect upon the following ideas found in Step One:

a) Critical nature of our disease

b) Progressive nature of our disease

c) The need not to push someone until they are ready.


For me it's interesting because for the last few year I have had good times and bad times in terms of compulsive eating....but looking back it has progressively gotten a little lit worse in extremity as I have tried throwing up (after binging) although I can't do it, physically my body won't do it...so I have tired laxatives knowing full well that it doesn't do much but needing to feel empty then stuffing myself to fill up again...to numb past pain. Interestingly when I talked to KTay about these issues and what she has done to get help....she never suggested I try it, never pushed me to look into ..I had to do it myself and when I was ready she helped me find a sponsor. Exactly what I needed. I had to me asking...wanting...getting metally prepared to give up my foght with myself give up my quest for control and admit that I have no control. ONly god can help me heal...I know that...only Heavenly Father can give me the stregnth to get ym life, get my psyche back from the foodand the pain that has been controlling it for years. I am 35...I turend 35 a few days ago and I can honestly say I really thought there was no way I would still have these issues when I was married to such a good man, had four darling children, and for crying out loud was at a healthy BMI and yet the struggle still continues....but I have hope that God will heal me and I can move on from my obsession and live a normal healthy life.

Today I felt so good....it's intersting to me how having a sponsor who I didn't know four days ago is making such a difference. Tonight when I read her words of encouragement and empathy, I felt so warm and loved by someone who has been through what I am going through now...I feel like I am going through a cleanse...of the body and the mind...I hope I can do the same from someone else when the time comes....